Charlie II

*tips hat* I'm here as requested. Firstly, I'd like to take the time to commend zankoku_na_tenshi . Look through the grammar and punctuation corrections that she's made and learn from ...

*tips hat* Good evening. You posted in my thread, you get a critique. Voila. 1. Opening chapter blues Mmmk, so it's your first chapter. What you don't want to do ...

‘Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.’ – Mohandas Karamchad Gandhi Drych-ddelwedd There was a tiny hole in the curtain in front of me. ...

Even these have become clichés :P I did like the egg though. It was the most interesting character. Such development, such description! *swoons* Charlie

Woah! That's ... disturbed :P! There's not much I can do to help it become more disturbed ;). The Shadows I just laid there, with my head turned to the ...

... :shock: I'm appalled that this has been misunderstood by so many writers. ... Clearly this is a piece of symbolic writing. I'd love to show this to my English ...

Hi there! You've got an interesting beginning, but let's see what I can do with it: 1. Adjectives the young supple form Milky white thighs a plaid handkerchief Apart from ...

The Belated Crit! Grrr. You've got me stumped! It's going to be tricky finding much wrong with this piece; you've done a great job with it! 1. Onomatopoeia Ok, to ...

Ok, paragraph-by-paragraph critiquing: My current Red Notebook is blue. It sounds strange, yes, but there's reason to this madness, I swear. My last Red Notebook really was red, and since ...

Hey there, Derek. I've got a few points for you to consider: 1. Realism -- Odds against: One against over twenty? They are pretty bad odds for Vlora, but she ...

Hey wildnaturespirit ! How're you doing? First, a formatting issue or two: paragraphing. Please, please, please paragraph your work. There are guides on how to do this, and you can ...

Ok, so lets talk about this: Ignoring the spelling, grammar and paragraphing issues, this wasn't a bad piece. You've set up your main character to be a klutz; that's good ...

Hey, I promised you a crit :) I've saved it as a Microsoft Word document. If you've not got Word then give me a PM and I'll save it as ...

You ready? This is gonna be in-depth. Ok, different critiquing style. I hope you've got Microsoft Word, if not, yell out and I'll work something else out. You know where ...

Nice style! This is the first one I've read (obviously) so I'll try to work it out as I go along. Just a few comments: This morning, after I rolled ...